Posts by Giles Gray

42

Returning to the truth.

by Justmeok2 in

hi i am just starting to rebuild my relationship with jehovah.

.

i would like to hear from people who may be or have been in similar situations and now want to dedicate their lives to him..

Giles Gray

Instead of trying out YHWH again, why not give Vishnu a go?

12

so confused!!

by whatisthis12 in

is it possible to keep a somewhat relationship with your family if they are witnesses and have a "worldly" girlfriend?

i just posted a post, and found this site to be very helpful.

sorry to repost but my other thread brought up some other questions.

Giles Gray

A direct answer to your first question is no.

For you to be his 'worldly' girlfriend, without him being rejected by the members of his religion, you would have to continue your relationship in strict celibacy (the expected standard for all courting JW couples).

If you have violated that standard already, they are expected by the religion to shun him for being immoral.

Even if you were achieving this 'high moral standard' your relationship with him would be frowned upon and seen as a bad example to the other members.

I'm sorry to have to say this, from what you have written so far, your relationship with him is not looking good.

Everything indicates he still believes in the religion.

In the world of JWs, relationships come second to the religion. They will prioritise the religion over a marriage partner, a close family member and a long term close friend.

There are people on this forum who are totally cut off from their family, because the JWs put the religion first.

I don't necessarily suggest doing this, not at least until you understand this religion a bit more, but if you want to know how solid your relationship with this chap is, tell him you have been talking to ex-members of his religion, and see what his reaction is like. Tell him about some of the negative things you have learned about the Jehovah's Witnesses.

If he responds defensively, you will know your relationship is in trouble. If he agrees with you, your relationship stands a chance.

While he continues to believe in this religion, you will always be in second place in his life. If this religion can challenge the bond that parents have for their children (as you have witnessed first hand), then his relationship with you as his girlfriend is even more at risk.

I wish you the best.

28

My Boyfriend is a recent Ex Jehovah Witness

by whatisthis12 in

i have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now.

when i met him i had no idea that he was a jehovah witness.

we took a vacation and he lied to his parents about who he was with, and they ended up finding out not only that he way lying, but who i was.

Giles Gray

Before considering any continuance of your relationship with him I would say that you need to know whether he is out of the religion mentally.

The Jehovah's Witnesses religion has a horrible habit of dragging people back in. Unless he is deconverted, you have a high risk that it could strain your relationship with him in the future.

To reconcile with his parents he has to go back to the religion. If he does that he's going to want to drag you and any offspring (if the relationship goes that far) with him. Or, he could end your relationship in order to go back. Whatever he chooses, it will be turbulent in one way or another

The desire to go back can spring out of nowhere and could happen in 10, 20, even 30 years from now.

The best advice for you is have a little look into the background of the religion before you make any decisions.

If he chooses you over his religion that is his decision. It won't ever be your fault and if he ever resented you for that decision then he would be wrong.

He will have known the implications of dating you in the first place. JWs are very strick on that kind of thing. It's his fault that he is in this predicament.

39

I need some help

by Akid48 in

well let me start with my age is 13 and i have been thinking about this jw thing and i need help i just dont know if i want to be one any more.. the help i need is some one to send me some links to places i can research i just dont know if i want to study with a jw any more..

Giles Gray

Akid48:- " I had to get in my mind that im ok at only looking at pictures of my mom and dad"

That's tough as well. So sorry you lost your parents at such an early age.

It happend to a friend I grew up with who was rasied by his aunt and uncle. He went on to become a very successful and independently minded person.

Just a word of caution about what you share about your story on this site. Try not to reveal any information that might give away your identity. If someone were to recognise you on here it could prove disastrous.

Hope family worship wasn't too painful.

39

I need some help

by Akid48 in

well let me start with my age is 13 and i have been thinking about this jw thing and i need help i just dont know if i want to be one any more.. the help i need is some one to send me some links to places i can research i just dont know if i want to study with a jw any more..

Giles Gray

Akid48:-"thats is what i got a lot A LOT"

Phew! That's tough.

You are doing phenomenally well to stand up to that.

39

I need some help

by Akid48 in

well let me start with my age is 13 and i have been thinking about this jw thing and i need help i just dont know if i want to be one any more.. the help i need is some one to send me some links to places i can research i just dont know if i want to study with a jw any more..

Giles Gray

@ Akid48

Firstly, I would like to say congratulations on being smart enough and strong enough to call into question the JW religion at such a young age. Very impressive.

Please understand that it is very difficult for anyone to give you advice due to your age and not knowing in detail your circumstances.

From what you have said so far, it seems that you are doing things correctly by learning about the alternative perspectives the Jehovah's Witnesses don't teach you. The more you learn the easier it will be for you to see through the illusion of it all.

If your aunt is your legal guardian, it might be advisable not to confront her about your doubts right now. In fact, you might want to keep your doubts from everybody as it could cause them to work harder to get you to conform.

Coming off the ministry school might be a good idea. You could always make the excuse that you find it a little intimidating. That was the excuse I used when I was your age and it worked fine.

You are going to need lots of support to help you through this, so keep posting on here as much as you can. I'm sure people here will be delighted to be of assistance.

It is also very important that you make a friends network outside of the religion. This might prove to be difficult as it is so discouraged by the JWs.

I'm so sorry that you are having to face this at your age, but I hope you can realise how well you are doing to be able to see through this religion at the tender age of 13.

JW Facts is a great site for the information you are looking for. Just take your time and don't rush anything.

I look forward to reading your future posts and it would be great to hear about what you learn from your research.

Please keep us posted on your progress.

27

Am I selfish?

by Jules Saturn in

tonight i had an argument with both my parents.

my parents are aware of my feelings towards the organization, and it saddens them because i am their first born son.

they had high expectations of me, my father dreamt of him and i serving together as elders.

Giles Gray

Guilt is the result of years of doctrinal conditioning and mind control. The feeling is common among people who break free from high control groups.

Many people experience the feelings of guilt even outside of a scenario like you are having with your family.

Part of the healing process is getting past these feelings of guilt. The way to do that is by focusing on rationalisation and logic, as well as realising that the feeling of guilt is a normal emotion to experience when you are exiting a religion like the JWs.

The intensity of what you are feeling right now is what keeps many people locked within the organisation.

The good news is it does get easier, as you learn to distinguish what emotions you should be feeling from the ones that have been imposed on you through indoctrination.

It is not selfish to take back your mind from these people, even if you experience the feeling that it is. Don't forget that they selfishly stole your mind in the first place with lies and deceit.

32

I went Elder Hunting yesterday!

by Tight Pants Twinkle Toes in

win my first post i introduced you to tweedle dee and tweedle dum, ( surprise elders visit ).

well last sunday night i got phone call from t- dum, he informed me that t-dee was listening in, no doubt practicing his short hand.

t-dum went on to say how he was concerned that we were making the biggest mistake of our lives, yada yada.

Giles Gray

"I never thought that hunting was that much fun"

There are not many greater pleasures.

Great story.

10

Brainwashing Runs Deep in my Family

by Freesoul in

i have successfully faded but my dad can't help but witness to me, so i have decided to do my research and answer him from the bible when he tries to get his point across.. so on my last visit to my parents house, he was trying to tell me that the jw's have the right religion because they go house to house, and got me to read luke chapter 10, so as he is reading it i said, isn't this interesting because in verse 7 says says don't from from house to house.. he couldn't cope with it and started saying i am taking it out of context, i replied this is what the scripture says.

even when it is written in black and white and they are the ones quoting the scriptures they still can see it.. he then said that i am unwilling to see the truth and could not talk any longer, go figure..

Giles Gray

" He then said that I am unwilling to see the truth..."

Au contraire!

38

Dunkirk.

by zeb in

i have just seen the film "dunkirk".

do yourselves a big favour and go see it.

(not for kids).

Giles Gray

If an accordion works the same on deer as it does on cattle, it might be very useful for deer hunting.

https://youtu.be/IypL_EcI9XE